Do you ever get bogged down, feeling like you just can’t have the life you want? Here are 4 tips to help you move past self doubt and get things done!
Sometimes you’ve just gotta practice tough love with people. And sometimes those people are you.
Yesterday was definitely one of those times.
I had been swirling in self doubt, wondering who in the world would want to read a blog written by a 57 year old woman and bitter because I had to clean our Airbnb house and fetch groceries and didn’t have a clear stretch of time to write a post for the blog that no one would want to read anyway.
During this Major Meltdown Moment my husband uttered these potentially explosive words: “What’s wrong?”
I just wish someone had been recording what came out of my mouth because it was passionate!
Linear thought is not my modus operandi. I tend to talk around things, so you have to be patient and NOT interrupt me if you want me to get to the point (any point). And there’s still no guarantee.
So I was incredibly happy and surprised when, coming off my rant, I realized that my tough self love pep talk had actually yielded some really valuable points.
4 tips to help you move past self doubt and get things done
1. To be a better writer, write.
In the moment, I was fussing at myself for my writing style, but this could apply to any skill you’re learning, whether it’s writing or playing an instrument or learning a new language.
The only way to get really good at something is to do it — over and over and over again!
At our café we made our own pizza crusts, and when I first started trying to form them… Well, not a pretty picture. They would either refuse to stretch or would tear in two.
But after I rolled and stretched and rolled and stretched literally hundreds of crusts, I began to get the hang of it.
Now I don’t even think about it. My hands just know how to do the work.
So, if you want to get good at something, do that thing over and over again!
2. stop being such a perfectionist (aka it’s okay to suck in the beginning)
In the beginning your work might suck. And that’s okay.
Put it out there anyway.
The truth is that if you wait til your work is “perfect”, you might never push anything out in to the world.
Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination. -Michael Hyatt
It takes humility to publish a post/show a painting/give a speech. We all want to appear totally together and in control and don’t want anyone to know that we have insecurities or that we just . aren’t . sure.
But the truth is that the sooner you put your work out there, the sooner you’ll get feedback. And the sooner you get feedback, the sooner you can begin to hone your message and create better work.
We won’t know if the spaghetti’s done until we throw it against the wall.
So move past self doubt and get things done! Create something, put it out there and don’t worry that it’s not perfect.
3. be selective with your thoughts
Our minds can come up with some amazing stuff. Some of it is amazingly wonderful and some of it is just plain garbage.
- You’re too young. You’re too old.
- It’s too early. It’s too late.
- You’re too boring. You’re too manic.
The good news is that we are not our minds.
Here’s an exercise that I find really helpful:
Pretend your thoughts are airplanes, circling around in your head, all waiting for the green light to come in for a landing.
(If you’re like me there are HUNDREDS of them circling around at the same time. Definite crash potential.)
But guess what. We don’t have to let them all in!
We get to choose which thoughts deserve a prime parking spot in our brains. We get to decide which ones are true for us.
So the next time you’re wallowing in self-doubt and beating yourself up because you’re too whatever, try sending so me of those deceitful airplane thoughts into the wild blue yonder!
Need help gaining focus? Take a look at this post!
4. You don’t have to want to do it. You just have to do it.
This is kind of bad, but I came up with this when the kids were little and didn’t want to go to church.
It somehow helped ALL of us to know that it was okay to not want to go. But that still didn’t change the fact that we were going to do it anyway.
Giving ourselves permission to not want to do something is incredibly freeing.
How often do we lay guilt trips on ourselves:
- If you really loved Christ you would want to go to church.
- How can you say you want to train for a 5K when you don’t want to go for a run?
- If you don’t want to do all the little things required to start your business then you must not really want to do it.
The truth is that sometimes it’s just easier to stay home, to sleep in, to remain in our dead-end job, to hold onto those extra pounds. Our brains are wired for self-preservation, and it’s HARD to push past those internal voices telling us to take it easy and play it safe.
Instead of chastising ourselves, how about if we try this 2 step plan as part of our tough self love:
- Acknowledge that the task is difficult, uncomfortable or unpleasant.
- Do it anyway.
Remember: As with anything, the more you practice, the easier it gets. And if you’re anything like me you’ll have opportunities to practice this 2 step plan daily!
Move Past Self Doubt Roundup
There are always going to be times when we have to get a little rough with ourselves — when a little tough self love is in order.
Whether you’re feeling frustrated, inadequate or just plain lazy, these 4 tips will help you break through:
- To be a better writer, write. If you want to get really good at something you have to do it over and over. So no matter what you want to get better at, do that thing!
- Stop being a perfectionist. Don’t let your perfectionist tendencies stand in the way of getting things done. Remember: progress over perfection!
- Be selective with your thoughts. Just because a thought pops into your head does NOT mean that you have to believe it! Pay close attention and decide which thoughts you want to embrace.
- You don’t have to want to do it. You just have to do it. It’s okay to not want to do something. Just follow the 2 step plan of acknowledging that the thing is difficult but that you’re going to do it anyway.
